Sunday, September 13, 2009

Exhaustion at the edge of the world

Driving quickly through the night on a big red truck with no name, headed to a pizza place, where dozens of empty delivery motorbikes are parked outside.
People I have never seen walk the streets in a daze, but far more clear-headed than I am.
Am I really here? Are the answers waiting out there for me somewhere?

Cut the line now. Separate it into into a thinner, more manageable size. Quickly up the nose. Zippp. Then the other. It burns for a second, as your sinuses try to figure out what foreign substance has invaded their space.
Then. Calm...?
The opposite of that. A fantastic urge to do something arises. Nothing in particular..... but something, somewhere needs to be done. If only we could figure out what, there would be a clear light at the end of this tunnel.

And that is the inevitable problem for abusers of cocaine and freebase. Plenty of energy, but no place to focus it. Just a draining burnout at the end of the trip, and the numbing erosion of the soul. There is not much good that has ever come from drug abuse, excluding those famous writers and artists that scribbled their hearts away and died young in a pile of their own vomit and sorrow.


  1. Robert you are crazy!!!!!

  2. Allowing oneself to be afraid of never being better than what they consider their best to be, is why those young greats perished so early, they used drugs to numb that reality of their fears. True genius and courage lies in pressing on through the smoking mirrors of fear, and living your life to make mistakes allowing you to continue bettering your best.

    The Don